1995; 277 pages. Full Title:
“Djinn
Rummy; A Work of Comic Genies”.
New Author? : Not by a long shot.
Genre : Mythopoeia; Humorous Fantasy; Spoof. Overall Rating : 8½*/10.
“In an aspirin bottle, nobody can hear you
scream.” (pg. 231)
Ah, but after he’s been freed from that glass prison, it seems like
everyone, especially his liberator, Jane, would just as soon have the genie, Kiss,
shut up. Indeed, despite now being
entitled to three wishes (with some “fine print” limitations), Jane seems
to be a tad bit disappointed by the turn of events, as she was looking to end it all with an
overdose of aspirin pills.
But
Jane is persuaded to stick it out for at least a few days longer, since her
first wish is to have an infinite number of wishes, which, frankly, will clear up a number of problems in her life. And since Kiss is a
Force 12 genie, which is an uber-powerful sort, when he says “your wish is my
command”, there’s not much he can’t do.
Like remodel Jane’s apartment. Or
wash the dishes. Or whip up something
fancy for dinner. And in his spare time,
perhaps he can even save the world from being destroyed by another Force 12 genie.
What’s To Like...
Djinn Rummy is one of Tom Holt’s earlier novels (#10 out of – to
date – 33 of them), and from the Mythopoeia stage of his
career. Being a fan of mythology, these
happen to be my favorite books by the author, and a couple others from this sub-genre are reviewed here and here.
The
author again employs his trademark storytelling format. He invents a whole new spin on the Aladdin
“genie-in-a-lamp” story, and mixes in copious amounts of his wit and zaniness. He examines the consequences of what would be my first wish upon
encountering a genie – to have a zillion more wishes, and also comes up with a clever rationalization for why omnipotent genies don’t destroy the world.
As
always, there are multiple plotlines running concurrently through the tale. Among them are: Kiss & Jane, Kiss vs.
Philly, Asaf & Neville, Kevin the Frog, Armageddon, and Asaf and the Dragon
King. In the hands of a lesser writer,
this would turn out to be contrived and confusing, but Tom Holt brings them all together
nicely for a boffo ending, and order is restored in the Universe.
The
requisite flying rug plays a pivotal part, and weird critters abound. My favorites were the carnivorous telepathic
vegetable intelligences. Let’s just say
you’ll think twice before calling anyone a “pansy” again.
The only R-rated stuff is some cuss words strewn among the crazy
goings-on, and I thought it fit in well.
Tom Holt is British, and I was lucky enough to find a “UK version” of Djinn Rummy at my local used-book store,
meaning it was written in English, not American. There was also a smattering of French, a
brief cameo by Druids, and the fascinating British expression, “Bob’s your
uncle!” All these are plusses for me.
Kewlest New Word...
Bonzer (adj.)
: excellent; first-rate. (an Aussieism)
Others : sarny (n.); bludge
(v.); jip
(n.); doddle
(n.); recidivist
(n.).
Excerpts...
A plague of
locusts. The phrase trips easily off the
tongue. But consider this. The average locust needs a certain amount of
food each day, or it dies. Nine hundred
million locusts, gathered together in one spot awaiting distribution in plague
form, need nine hundred million times that amount. Neglect to provide nine hundred million
packed lunches, and before very long you’ll have a plague of nine hundred
million dead locusts, untidy, but no real long-term threat to humanity. (pg. 111)
There is a
perfectly reasonable scientific explanation of how genies manage to transport
themselves from one side of the earth to the other apparently instantaneously;
it’s something to do with trans-dimensional shift error, and it is in fact
wrong. The truth is that genies have
this facility simply because Mother Nature knows better than to try and argue
with beings who only partially exist and who have all the malevolent
persistence and susceptibility to logical argument of the average
two-year-old. Let them get on with it,
she says; and if they suddenly find themselves stuck in a rift between opposing
realities, then ha bloody ha. (pg.
228)
“Well, stuff me for a kookaburra’s uncle.” (pg. 158)
There
aren’t really any quibbles to speak of.
At one point a character named Justin becomes “Julian” for a page or
two, but I blame that gaffe on the publishing company, not the author. And some of the threads are tied up rather
loosely, but hey, at least they were knitted together. Just you try keeping things together when the
Earth is 90% underwater, one of the protagonists can’t swim, and Romance is
only halfway up in the air due to Cupid-turned-hitman.
Overall, Tom Holt once again delivers exactly what I was looking for – a
light, enjoyable read without any slow spots, bizarre characters to meet, and a
plethora of plot threads to keep me wondering how he was going to prevent the
storyline from getting out of control.
8½ Stars. Subtract ½ star
if myths aren't your cup of tea.
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