2013; 324 pages. New Author? : Yes. Genre : Satire; Humor. Overall Rating : 7½*/10.
Santa
sure picked the wrong chimney to slide down this time. There’s a dead man in the room, and six
heavily-armed SWAT-team policemen pounce on Santa as soon as he hits the floor
of the fireplace.
Well,
it serves Santa right. Not only is he guilty
of breaking into people’s homes, but he’s also destroying the economy by giving
away free presents. It’s easy to believe
that someone who’s a burglar and a Commie could be a murderer as well.
But not everyone is convinced of Santa’s guilt. In particular, Sherlina Holmes, the dead man’s
precocious niece, thinks he’s been framed.
And she sets out to discover who the real murderers are..
But be careful, Sherlina.
Citizens have no privacy anymore.
The police are watching your every step.
And there are people in high places who will stop at nothing to prevent
you from getting to the bottom of this matter.
What’s To Like...
On
the surface, Who Framed Santa Claus? is a
fine tale of Absurdism. There are a slew
of crazy organizations to meet, including the British Geek Association, a
redneck Al Qaeda sleeper cell, and a cadre of evil-&-secretive bankers. There are individual weirdoes as well – a chicken
farmer with a doom machine, an incarcerated robot-builder (think Hannibal Lecter), a
Superheroine, and a couple of flying, kilt-wearing Scotsmen. And let’s not forget Dr. Toxy Underpants, who
dreams of becoming a supervillain.
All
of the abovementioned loonies have their own separate agendas, and for a while
it is quite the challenge to keep track of who’s who, how any of it could
possibly tie into Sherlina’s investigation, and where this is all going. But the threads do eventually meet up with
one another.
This
is an adult story. There is some cussing,
bloodshed and violence, a dildo, and a hint of underage sex. Just because it has Santa in it doesn’t mean
little Suzy should be reading it.
At
a deeper level, Who Framed Santa Claus?
offers some searing commentary on some pretty serious subjects. Topics like song piracy, bankers, lawsuits, enemy combatants, the 1%, road
construction, Homeland Security, and last-but-not-least, potatoes.
Shantnu Tiwari does a nice job of combining the serious with the
absurd. The wit will not be to everyone’s
taste, but I found it quite funny. The
titular question is eventually resolved, and the baddies get their just
desserts. This book is written in
English (as opposed to ‘American’),
and is a standalone novel.
Excerpts...
“Why, God? Why dost thou do this to me? What have I done to deserve this? All I
wanted to do was to take over the world with my potato-powered doom
machine. Was this too much to ask, Lord? Is it a sin to have dreams?” (loc. 243)
“You see, with
mathematics, we can predict when and where the next war will happen. Our MBA programme produces the best leaders,
who can then use this information to defeat the enemy before they have even
started the war. We have successfully
invaded many countries that our computer models told us were planning to start
a war.”
“Wow. So you defeat your enemies before they have even
thought about attacking you? You are so
smart, Dr. Jones.” (loc.
2268)
Kindle Details...
Who
Framed Santa Claus? sells for $2.99 at Amazon. Shantnu Tiwari has several other full-length
novels available for $2.99, as well as a couple short
sotries for $0.99.
Relying on luck, fortune, or the favour of the gods (is) a sure way
to get killed. (loc.
1865)
The
writing is good, but the storytelling could use some polishing. Adding superheroes to the mix felt awkward;
so did the underplayed monster. The acronym
for the Posh Al Qaeda Institute seemed needlessly pejorative. I’m still not sure that all of the crazies
had their threads resolved at the end.
What
saves this book is the scathing social commentary. In a way, it reminded me of V For Vendetta, one of my favorite movies. Both works use the Absurd to deliver a far
more serious message. And the fact that
both are rather successful in this endeavor trumps most of my nitpicking.
7½ Stars. Subtract 2 stars
if you’re a banker, and/or part of the 1%.
You probably won’t find this book amusing. At all.
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