Thursday, May 20, 2010

Little Green Men - Christopher Buckley


1999; 300 pages. New Author?: Yes. Genre : Satire; Modern Fiction. Overall Rating : 9*/10.
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John O. Banion is an acid-tongued, self-assured Sunday morning TV news host (think "Meet The Press") who has everything going for him - a trophy wife, fame and power, and fabulous ratings - even the President of the United States wants to appear on his show - until he is abducted by aliens. And probed. He dismisses this as temproary insanity. Until it happens a second time.
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This turns his world upside-down, but it doesn't matter, because he now has something he never had before - a cause. Little does he realize, his abductions (and probes) were really orchestrated by a disgruntled worker for a top-secret government organization called Majestic 12.
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What's To Like...
Little Green Men is well-written, moves at a nice pace, has a good ending, and will keep you chuckling, page after page. Buckley spoofs all sorts of things - the Washington DC "Power Crowd", UFO enthusiasts, talking-head newsmen, NASA, conspiracy nuts (hey! that's me!), and egotistical lawyers.
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His characters are both real (Sam Donaldson and Larry King) and made-up (Colonel Murfletit, Bitsey Banion, Dr. Falopian, etc.). There actually aren't any Little Green Men in the story, but there are creatures dubbed "Tall Nordics" and "Short Greys". The political satire is balanced - the president is a savvy sap (is that an oxymoron?), but you can't tell whether he's a Democrat or a Republican.
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Kewl New Words...
There were a slew of 'em. Avuncular : kindly; benevolent; like a favorite uncle. Parsimony : excessive frugality; extreme cheapness. Irredentist : advocating reclaiming territory that is culturally or historically related to one's nation. Cabochon : a convex style of cutting gemstones. Benison : a blessing. Importunate : troublesomely urgent. Descant : a discourse on some given theme. Mephitic : foul-smelling. Recondite : deep; not easily understood. Chthonic : dwelling in the Underworld. Gravid : heavy; pregnant (either literal of figurative). Minatory : threatening; menacing. Ontological : relating to one's essence or core being. Apothegm : a short, pithy saying.
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Excerpts...
They decided that as long as they were at it, MJ-12 could serve another, even higher purpose: keeping the U.S. citizenry alarmed about the possibility of invasion from outer space, and therefore happy to fund expansion of the military-aerospace program. A country convinced that little green men were hovering over the rooftops was inclined to vote yea for big weapons and space programs. (pg. 31)
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Banion sighed. These symphony things of Bitsey's were torture. He had no ear for music. He was perfectly content to insert a "Mozart's Greatest Hits" onto the CD player and press Repeat. To make matters worse, this new conductor was a fiend for atonality, that is, music that defied humming. Banion wondered which was worse - being sodomized by aliens, or having to sit through two hours of Charles Ives. (pg. 84. If you've ever listened to Charles Ives, you'll be able to relate)
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A few words about Christopher Buckley...
He is the son of the Conservative legend, William F. Buckley. I was worried that this would give LGM a wing-nut spin, but it didn't. He used to write for the conservative magazine, National Review, which was founded by his father. In 2008, he did the unpardonable - he endorsed Barack Obama for president. The National Review and CB parted ways shortly thereafter.
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It made the people happy to feel that the gods wanted to sleep with them, or at least have a grope. (pg. 32)
I thoroughly enjoyed Little Green Men. I suppose if you aren't into Washington politics and/or UFO encounters, it could get a bit boring. In reading other reviews, it seems that those who gave LGM low marks usually did so because they felt some of Buckley's other novels were better - in particular, one called Thank You For Smoking. If so, I'm looking forward to reading more books by him. Nine stars.

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